I have heard in the last few days of people getting engaged, others breaking up and a few relationships seeming to change direction for one reason or another.  My wonderful wife and I were talking about one of the situations and she said something along the lines of they felt they weren’t compatible so they split up.  This idea got me thinking about what makes a relationship really work.

You see many relationships happen because the two people are comfortable with one another.  Whether it is the friend who you have known for years and suddenly say lets start dating or the office coworker who you share so much with that you suddenly decide to make something more of it.  These are people who are comfortable with one another and decide to find out if they are compatible.

Now compatible to me means you are willing to spend quality time in one another’s presence.  The emphasis is quality and time.  Many people I know who do not espouse a Christian faith talk about the need to be sexually compatible.  At the end of the day I am not sure what that means other than saying you have tried all the flavours of ice-cream in the shop and the one you like is vanilla.  If all you are offered is vanilla what is the difference?  Quality time means that you get to know each other more and work out ways to do things together.  Not just when it is convenient but also when it is inconvenient.

Having decided you are compatible some people decide to be committed.  This means that even when there is a disagreement you are both willing to work through the issues, keep the lines of communication open and not run away from the other person.  This is where some relationships do break down quite horribly.  The compatibility has been around for a long time but now you find out you are not willing to be really committed to working through everything.

So is this just a reflection on relationships or is there more theological thinking going on?  Churches now days are looking for members, they want people not who they are just comfortable with or compatible with but committed to.  They want people who will stick around when there are difficulties.

So what is you relationship to your church like?  What issues do you need to resolve?

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