It is funny going to weddings and watching the people around you.  This time I had the delight in seeing the next couple to get married looking deeply in each others eyes and obviously looking forward to what will happen in a few months time.

I saw other people who hardly looked at each other, even though they may be dating or married.  It reminded me of a song from “I Love You, Your Perfect, Now Change” which I have seen a few times around the world (New York twice and LA once).  The song “Shouldn’t I Be Less In Love With You?” is sung at a kitchen table while the couple read the paper and do the morning routine.  The guy starts singing and questioning, shouldn’t I love you less, shouldn’t I have had an affair, shouldn’t I have left by now?  The song, which usually leaves me in tears, at the end says, quite simply, No.  It is not an ode to romantic love but to commitment in the midst of life.  A song for commitment not a song against adultery and other relationship destroyers.

The song and people at weddings reminds me that we have two choices in relationships.  We can let the relationship grow together or grow apart.  It is easy to get into a mindset that growing apart is normal and that divorce is totally unacceptable or totally acceptable (see Richard Mouw’s ingisht into this).  The underlying issue is the intimacy that defines the quality of the marriage.

Scripturally we are told that we will see Jesus face to face.  There is an intimacy in the relationship we are to have with Jesus in looking in each others eyes.  We should have a similar intimacy with our spouses.  There should be sparkles that are noticeable by others when you look at each other not a spark-less relationship.

So is your relationship with God and your significant other sparkling or fading?

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