I don’t understand one night stands.  Actually I do in one way as they are a quick way to release sexual tension, have what is hopefully a fun time and then move on feeling good about yourself.  The girls in the old movies used to ask the question “Will you respect me in the morning”.  Nowadays this is not an issue in movies the one night stand is expected and is only a problem if it turns more serious.

So I wonder theologically why have one night stands become acceptable?  What is the person trying to fill?  What makes us think that sex with a stranger on one night is better than a committed relationship where sex actually gets better the more you know someone and know what they like and are like?  Somehow we have accepted the Hollywood idea that one night stands are a good idea, that is commitment is not compatible with good and healthy sex.  This is like a line I heard from “House MD” along the lines of if good sex happens it will happen again.  Thus Hollywood shows how a relationship is born.

This means Hollywood has somehow come to accept a process of sex->relationship->commitment rather than relationship->commitment->sex.  The Hollywood process will self-destruct as there is no process of reinforcement of the commitment.  More commitment does not mean more sex.  I think anecdotal evidence would actually indicate the opposite.

The other side to this is Christians who think the first night of a marriage is the be all and end all.  Most couples I know say things in the bedroom get better over time.  That is, just like a relationship grows into a commitment and a commitment grows into sexual expression so does sexual expression grow and completes the relationship and reinforces the commitment.  That is when things go right and are done right the relationship blosoms and grows in all sorts of areas.

So what do you think about one night stands?  Destructive to intimacy or help to it?

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