It is hard for any of us to admit we are broken.  Yet if we live long enough (the secret is have lots of birthdays) then we realise at least that some of the people around us are broken.  If we get really wise we realise that we are somebody else’s broken person around them.

Now in my thinking being broken does not mean trying to deliberately hurt people or being physical injured.  It means not living to our own ideals and who Jesus calls us to be.  We don’t do quite what we say we will do or live quite the way we want to.  Biblically this is called sin but the issue for me here is not that we are sinners, many of us say that, but coming to the realisation that we don’t have these sins under control.  You see some of my spiritual friends might say “just pray about it”, others friends may practice disciplines to keep sin at bay, other friends again may just walk into the sin and say they are under grace.  The fact is when you realise you are stuck you need help.

Here is where wisdom is needed.  Where do you get help from?  You see I do not come from a large family and asking some of my immediate family members for advice would have been like asking an anteater whether cockroaches are tasty.  The ideas I would have raised did not even come into their thinking.  Thus growing up all sorts of behaviour that would later haunt me were either not discussed, considered not too bad or even considered acceptable in some way because boys were like that.

As you can guess in the end I was a bit messed up eventually realising I was not living the way that a follower of Jesus should be living.   At one point I ended up in counselling and while it helped with some issues ultimately it did not seem to take.  I would say the counsellor at that time did not have enough experience or insight.  At a later point in life I realised that there were issues of depression that had to be recognised.  This was the issue I was trying to bury by acting in a way that did not glorify God.  It was at this point that God started dealing with me.  After God dealt with me, I met my wonderful wife and things have remained great since then.  The reasons for the depression were dealt with and the outworked behaviours stopped.

Where did I get help from?  A wise Christian clinical psychologist who knew what drives many people into ministry. A spiritual director to help check my spiritual motivation when I wanted to marry this wonderful woman who is now my wife.  People who were illing to say Christians suffer from depression.  I’d love to say that pastors helped me but they see the world in a different way to psychologists and could not join all the dots to mend me.  Ultimately it was God through wise people that got things back on track.  You see if we avoid the hard issues we don’t get well we stay broken.
Funnily enough the psychologist who helped me later became a mentor for our marriage.  Due to these experiences I am happy to recommend to others to talk through the issues that hold us back from going on.  It is not about what I think is best but what I have found really helped me.  So what are the areas of your life you are unwilling to look at because if you got counsel it would change you?

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